I had a different post planned for today, however, it being #WorldBreastfeedingWeek – I wanted to pen down my thoughts. This isn’t a guide to breastfeeding or a post about the benefits but just thoughts that I have found myself drowning in this past week.
At first, I was quite reluctant to write and post this but if I can’t write how I feel on my blog then I don’t really think there’s any point in blogging so here I am waffling away – this is more of a rant than anything else.
The first week of August marks #WorldBreastfeedingWeek – this is is supposed to be a week to celebrate breastfeeding and to raise awareness for it. But what has it turned too? Debates after debates, women basically announcing to the world that they are each other’s worst enemy.
Why are the breastfeeding rates in this country ridiculously low? Not just because of lack of professional help because it is oh so easy to blame the professionals but it is the society in which we live in. The society who takes it upon themselves to become judges. And who is society? It is us! If we as mothers don’t support each other then how can we expect support from anyone else?
Unfortunately, this isn’t the case though..
Why are the breastfeeding rates in this country ridiculously low? Not just because of lack of professional help because it is oh so easy to blame the professionals but it is the society in which we live in. The society who takes it upon themselves to become judges. And who is society? It is us! If we as mothers don’t support each other then how can we expect support from anyone else?
Unfortunately, this isn’t the case though..
All of a suddenly, we have a group of mums who formula feed go on a defensive – why? There is no need.
And before you think about strangling me virtually, I want you to know that I combined fed my daughter for the first 11 months of her life. I have been at both sides of the coin, I know what it’s like to breastfeed, I know what it’s like to formula feed, just had to get that out there as I know I would have been labelled as being part of the ‘breastfeeding brigade’ – seriously, what’s that about?
When a woman shares how long she fed her child for, how proud she is of herself or might just mistakenly mention why she breastfeeds her child she gains an automatic membership of the breastfeeding brigade.
There is nothing wrong with a mother being proud of herself for breastfeeding and saying that out loud. It is not a dig at formula feeding mummy’s at all.
A little bit of background:
Me and my daughter didn’t have the greatest of beginnings, despite my lack of mobility and crying in utter pain even if I moved an inch (nothing to do with breastfeeding) I wanted to exclusively breastfeed.
By day 10 my daughter hadn’t regained her birth weight, she was 10g off. I was told she needed formula top ups, she gained back her weight and we attempted to exclusively breastfeed, again her weight stagnated and I was told she needs formula.
I don’t want to ramble on here for much as I have a whole dedicated post written about My Five Breastfeeding Mistakes but in a nutshell I was given the wrong advice, eventually her top ups turned into 3 bottles a day.
This may not mean anything to anyone but it was a big deal for me – essentially, I was getting the message that I wasn’t good enough for my own daughter, again and again, I’d express my desire to exclusively breastfeed but it just wasn’t so. This not only effected my mental health as I had lost all confidence in myself but also my relationship with my loved ones around me who only had one thing to say ‘do what the health visitor says, she knows best’.
Despite the lack of support from all corners, I eventually stood my ground and took away the bottles at 11 months and just began to breastfeed at those times. I am now still breastfeeding my daughter at 18 months and plan to go on for as long as she’s happy.
I proudly share my story because after everything that I have been through in this past, after our first year being clouded by nothing but feeding issues I finally have something to be happy about – when you hear a fellow mother praising herself, don’t think she’s a show off or think that she’s doing that make you feel bad, it might just be that she’s finally happy about herself or something?
I completely understand that many mothers who formula feed have been failed by services and actually wanted to breastfeed, I get that, despite my achievement today I still think about the past year and how ‘it should’ve been’ feeding wise and it does still make me angry.
But that does not mean I’m going to get annoyed at a fellow Mum for successfully breastfeeding her child for however long.
And you know what?
Formula feeding mummies should be proud of themselves too because it’s bloody hard work! You have no idea (I lie, you probably do have an idea) how relieved I was to pack away the steriliser – I remember those of bottle washing really well.
Heck, I didn’t even bother buying tubs of formula, just used premade and warmed that up to make it less work for myself.
So if you chose to formula feed because you weren’t able to breastfeed or because you just wanted to in the first place then be proud of yourselves too.
The whole point of this rant is just basically a plea from me to PLEASE stop these petty arguments and digs at each other, whether you chose to breastfeed or formula feed – that is your choice, no one has the right to pass silly comments.
We should be supportive of each other’s choices rather than make each other feel like rubbish.
Well said, Soffy. There are a lot of people out there who like to get in their "digs" on this topic, but there are also a lot of mums who too easily take offense at a remark not intended as a "dig." It's a sensitive topic! Both types of feeders have their own reasons and don't need to make an issue of it or be defensive about it. Someone telling you their way is better? Just smile and say "How lovely for you" and don't engage; it will only destroy your serenity. Not worth it.
This is such a fab post. I've noticed lots of posts that seem to target other peoples choices on both sides. It really shouldn't be some kind of war as you say we do much better when mums just sipport other mums #blogcrush
It is so important to breastfeed a child because they get MORE nutrients that way! There's no need for anyone to attack mothers who choose to breastfeed, and it's also okay to formula feed as well. Every woman is different and let's celebrate everyone!
It's great that you're sharing your story. Please please PLEASE do not feel unconfident – you're a rockstar. ♥
Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me